How to Stay Calm When Baby Won’t Stop Crying (2024)

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All parents have been there. You’ve tried feeding, burping, and changing his diaper. You checked for fever. You even checked to see if his socks are too tight! Could it be gas? Is he too hot or too cold? Maybe he’s teething. Regardless, you’ve tried everything you can think of and now you’re starting to stress. The baby just won’t stop crying.

Some babies cry more than others for reasons we don’t fully understand. This doesn’t mean that you are doing anything wrong as a parent or that your baby doesn’t like you! Many parents have to cope with babies who cry a lot in the early months of life. If you have found yourself bouncing, patting, humming, or soothing a fussy baby, you are not alone!

It’s normal to feel stressed when babies cry.

How to Stay Calm When Baby Won’t Stop Crying (4)

A crying baby can rattle even the most level-headed person. Why? It has to do with the way our brains are wired. We feel a sense of urgency when babies cry. It’s almost like a fire alarm goes off in our brains. This is nature’s way of making sure we do our jobs: respond to our babies’ needs and take care of them! But what about when a baby won’t stop crying and we’ve done all we can to help, and the crying doesn’t stop? Here’s what might happen for you as your baby continues to cry:

  • The “thinking” part of your brain shuts down, affecting your ability to be calm and think logically.
  • Your reactions may be panicked, meaning that you feel out of control and are not thinking clearly.
  • You may find it difficult to calm yourself down and regulate your own feelings and reactions.

Babies tune into our feelings and reactions.

How to Stay Calm When Baby Won’t Stop Crying (5)

For better or worse, a baby tends to “tune in” to her caregivers’ emotional state. This means that just when babies need us to be atourcalmest so we can help calmthem,we are often feeling stressed, frustrated and wound up! Our arms and shoulders are tense, and our facial expressions also may show the stress. A caregiver’s stress can add to the baby’s stress and intensify her fussiness.

When a baby won’t stop crying, calming yourself is job number one.

The first trick to calming a baby is to recognize that you yourself are anything but calm.Take a moment to name how you are feeling (frustrated, angry, sad, rejected, etc.). After that crucial first step, here are some additional strategies that may help:

  • Put the baby down in a safe place (like a crib) and take a break. Give yourself the gift of a few minutes to calm down and attend to your own needs. It’s just like when you’re on a plane and the flight attendant tells you to put on your own oxygen mask first before assisting a child. Make time throughout the day to feed yourself, drink enough water, shower, get some exercise, or call a friend. This kind of self-care will help you stay calm and self-regulated. When you are in a calmer state of mind, you are better able to help a baby.
  • Try taking deep, even breaths.People often breathe shallowly when stressed, so changing your breathing actually helps you feel calmer. Deep, even breathing sends the message to your nervous system that you are safe, which helps your body start to regulate. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try counting to 10, or putting your hand on your stomach as you breathe to make sure you’re taking deep breaths.
  • Sleep. Not surprisingly, parents who report having a baby who cries a lot also tend to report being exhausted. Often, this exhaustion can’t be relieved by just one good night of sleep. Talk to the baby’s health care provider, or your own, if you are experiencing feelings of being overwhelmed, sad, depressed, or unable to care for the baby. New parents need and deserve support.
  • Remember that your baby loves you, but is having a tough time right now. Sometimes babies cry or are fussy for reasons we just can’t figure out. But this fussiness is no reflection on a baby’s feelings for you! Your baby loves you and is doing the best she can right now. So, take breaks when you can, ask for help when you need it, and consult with your health care provider if a baby’s fussiness causes concern.

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How to Stay Calm When Baby Won’t Stop Crying (2024)

FAQs

How to Stay Calm When Baby Won’t Stop Crying? ›

If nothing else works, put the baby on their back in an empty crib (without loose blankets or stuffed animals), close the door, and check on the baby in 10 minutes. During that 10 minutes, do something to try to relax and calm down. Try washing your face, breathing deeply, or listening to music.

How do I stop getting angry when my baby cries? ›

Try the following to keep your tension levels down and navigate through their tears (and yours).
  1. Take a break. Ask for help. ...
  2. Step away from the baby. ...
  3. Think back to birth breathing. ...
  4. Keep your emotional strength up. ...
  5. Don't hide away. ...
  6. Attend to their needs, wherever you are. ...
  7. A new normal. ...
  8. Your network is broader than you think.

How to cope with a constantly crying baby? ›

Try stroking your baby's back or gently sway to create a rhythm that is reassuring. Skin to skin contact like baby massage, can soothe your baby and you may find it relaxing too. If you're breastfeeding offer the breast. If you're bottle feeding consider offering a dummy.

Why do babies cry continuously and won't calm down? ›

My Baby Won't Stop Crying. Babies cry to communicate needs like hunger, tiredness, or a diaper change. If you've ruled out the possibilities and your baby is still crying, call your pediatrician, as it could be a sign of illness or colic.

Why am I so triggered by my baby crying? ›

It's the way you're wired

This means that the sound of your baby crying will evoke strong emotions, such as anxiety, anger, protectiveness, or worry. The newborn stage can be an especially intense time and a huge shock to the system. All these strong emotions you're feeling are completely new.

How do I stay calm when frustrated with my baby? ›

Techniques for staying calm around a crying baby
  1. Step away.
  2. Take some deep breaths.
  3. Practice mindful breathing.
  4. Count to ten.
  5. Have a drink of water or cup of tea.
  6. Play some calming music.
  7. Go for a walk with the baby and any other children in your care.

How to pacify a crying baby? ›

To soothe a crying baby:
  1. First, make sure your baby doesn't have a fever. ...
  2. Make sure your baby isn't hungry and has a clean diaper.
  3. Rock or walk with the baby.
  4. Sing or talk to your baby.
  5. Offer the baby a pacifier.
  6. Take the baby for a ride in a stroller.
  7. Hold your baby close against your body and take calm, slow breaths.

How to stay calm when baby won't sleep? ›

Try taking deep, even breaths. People often breathe shallowly when stressed, so changing your breathing actually helps you feel calmer. Deep, even breathing sends the message to your nervous system that you are safe, which helps your body start to regulate. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.

How do you treat excessive crying in infants? ›

Change in environment — There are many other techniques that may help to reduce crying: a pacifier, ride in the car, change of scenery, infant swing, and warm baths have been suggested and may help to soothe an infant with colic. Swaddling (figure 1) may be soothing.

Why can't you ignore a crying baby? ›

Thus, “ignoring the crying baby” may adversely affect the development of the cerebellum and may also lead to the suppression of the development of gross and fine motor skills. Furthermore, it should be noted that the MNS may be involved in social communication and also in motor development.

How to stop inconsolable crying? ›

The first step to relieving inconsolable crying or colicky crying, is starting the 5 S's method for soothing babies. The 5 S's include swaddling, holding baby in the side-stomach position, shushing, swinging, and sucking.

Why does my baby cry and want to be held all the time? ›

Being away from their safe spot (aka their parents and trusted caregivers) can be stressful for new babies. Crying is the way they convey that stress and ask to be held or have other needs met. In fact, crying is a baby's primary way to communicate with their caregiver says the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

When a baby cries uncontrollably? ›

Crying is an important way for infants to communicate. But, when a baby cries a lot, it may be a sign of something that needs treatment. Infants instinctively cry to communicate hunger, thirst, discomfort, tiredness, or loneliness. However, excessive crying may suggest a disorder that requires treatment.

How to stop an overtired baby from crying? ›

When that happens, you'll want to make their environment extra calming and soothing, and you can try things like swaddling, using white noise or providing a pacifier to signal sleep. To help an overtired baby get back on track, be prepared to spend a little extra time being present and hands-on.

Is it normal to feel anger towards your baby? ›

It's common to feel angry, in general or with a baby, particularly a baby who won't stop crying, even when you know how irrational that is – babies can't be 'naughty', because they have no idea what they're doing.

Can babies crying trigger misophonia? ›

No one likes the sound of a baby crying. However, people who have misophonia may find something like a baby's cry intolerable and overwhelmingly distracting, causing them to freak out in the extreme. That being said, there are other noises that can be misophonic triggers.

Will my baby remember me getting frustrated? ›

Research has found that babies don't easily forget seeing anger-prone behavior in adults, even if that behavior is directed at someone else.

Why does the sound of crying make me angry? ›

Misophonia is a disorder in which certain sounds trigger emotional or physiological responses that some might perceive as unreasonable given the circ*mstance. Those who have misophonia might describe it as when a sound “drives you crazy.” Their reactions can range from anger and annoyance to panic and the need to flee.

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